We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
