NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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