Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
