I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
