We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
