Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
