You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
