happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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