True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
this just has baby written all over it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
