Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
