I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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