I hope mine doesn't look like that
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
