Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
