Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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