he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
