I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
