he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
