good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
