dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
