He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
