It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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