ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
