I wannas sexs uuuuu
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
