am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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