look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
