I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
