Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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