please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
