Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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