Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I had to cum in my sink.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
