you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
