Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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