ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
