You're completely useless in the revolution.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
