i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
