Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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