I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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