there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
