You're so nebulous sometimes
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Randomize
