Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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