i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wish i was in the wii world.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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