Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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