why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
