i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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