I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
