I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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