I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
