know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
