My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize