i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
