yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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