Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
