i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
