I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
