god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
