Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
