I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
