Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
