I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
