He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
