so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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