I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
