Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
